hels Posted August 19, 2014 Report Share Posted August 19, 2014 Placed bets the day of my wedding. I also made bets on my honeymoon from the cruise ship. The bill for the internet usage was outrageous. On one occasion, I couldn't make it to the internet cafe and used my room phone to call in the bets b/c I had no cell service..ouch!! Dont' feel bad, a guy once played pizza poker the day his wife died. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hels Posted August 19, 2014 Report Share Posted August 19, 2014 I have a friend in LA who told me this one.......... He used to Ref children's basketball games' date=' he and the other ref would bet twenty bucks on the nights 2 out of 3 games. Last night of the regular season they decide to up the bet to dinner at Ruth Chris steakhouse with the girlfriends. How the bet worked was one guy each night made the spread and the other guy took the sides he wanted. So they were tied up 1-1 in games and my friend had the better team -5 points with under ten seconds left. Problem was they were up 3 and the other team had the ball. My friend then decided to fix a basketball game involving eight year olds.......The inbound was clean and my friend immediately called a moving pick that never happened. The coach of the losing team got upset, but not terribly, yet he still got a technical foul called against him for his efforts. Now he got even more upset and the second tech was called assuring four free throws for my friends team and the coaches ejection. The parents are very angry and going fuckin insane. The kid they choose to shoot steps up and hits 2of 3 to get the number to 5 and a push, the kid lines up for the meaningless to everyone else final FT and hits the rim........and my friend calls a lane violation against a kid that hasn't moved an inch. The fuckin team is down 5 with eight seconds left, they aren't fighting for the rebound. But the ref with a hankering for a free meal doesn't care. He calls the lane violation at this point the other ref is just shaking his head in half amusement and half disbelief that he is losing a fixed game that he is refereeing! The kid drains the next free throw to get the game to six but my friend is not out of the woods yet. The other team has eight seconds for the back door layup we all have seen 1000 times in our gambling lives.. However in all these instances we were not refereeing the game. Once the ball gets past half court my friend calls traveling, his fifth phantom call in the final ten seconds of play. At this point it's a fucking madhouse the parents are so irate but the winning team just inbounds the ball and the game ends. After changing clothes my friend actually left the school through the back door and snuck to his car to avoid enraged parents waiting for him. At Ruth Chris he even loaded up at dinner with lots of appetizers and booze just to stick his friend one last time, the girls had no idea what went down.[/quote'] That is hilarious in so many ways. Just the guys betting on little kids basketball cracks me up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberbabble Posted August 19, 2014 Report Share Posted August 19, 2014 Bought a Meatman pick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sports Posted August 19, 2014 Report Share Posted August 19, 2014 I have a friend in LA who told me this one.......... He used to Ref children's basketball games' date=' he and the other ref would bet twenty bucks on the nights 2 out of 3 games. Last night of the regular season they decide to up the bet to dinner at Ruth Chris steakhouse with the girlfriends. How the bet worked was one guy each night made the spread and the other guy took the sides he wanted. So they were tied up 1-1 in games and my friend had the better team -5 points with under ten seconds left. Problem was they were up 3 and the other team had the ball. My friend then decided to fix a basketball game involving eight year olds.......The inbound was clean and my friend immediately called a moving pick that never happened. The coach of the losing team got upset, but not terribly, yet he still got a technical foul called against him for his efforts. Now he got even more upset and the second tech was called assuring four free throws for my friends team and the coaches ejection. The parents are very angry and going fuckin insane. The kid they choose to shoot steps up and hits 2of 3 to get the number to 5 and a push, the kid lines up for the meaningless to everyone else final FT and hits the rim........and my friend calls a lane violation against a kid that hasn't moved an inch. The fuckin team is down 5 with eight seconds left, they aren't fighting for the rebound. But the ref with a hankering for a free meal doesn't care. He calls the lane violation at this point the other ref is just shaking his head in half amusement and half disbelief that he is losing a fixed game that he is refereeing! The kid drains the next free throw to get the game to six but my friend is not out of the woods yet. The other team has eight seconds for the back door layup we all have seen 1000 times in our gambling lives.. However in all these instances we were not refereeing the game. Once the ball gets past half court my friend calls traveling, his fifth phantom call in the final ten seconds of play. At this point it's a fucking madhouse the parents are so irate but the winning team just inbounds the ball and the game ends. After changing clothes my friend actually left the school through the back door and snuck to his car to avoid enraged parents waiting for him. At Ruth Chris he even loaded up at dinner with lots of appetizers and booze just to stick his friend one last time, the girls had no idea what went down.[/quote'] CLASSIC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pokerjoe Posted August 19, 2014 Report Share Posted August 19, 2014 JamesD almost wins, but Cyberbabble hooks him at the wire with a simple, rail-hugging ride. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tripp Posted August 19, 2014 Report Share Posted August 19, 2014 About 4-5 years ago i threw $200 on some asian table tennis match simply because it was the only thing offered that was being played in the next 20 mins. 200 was the same amount back then that I would put on an NFL or NBA game i really liked so it wasnt peanuts to me or anything Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeinkeToWarrick Posted August 19, 2014 Report Share Posted August 19, 2014 I have a few: 1. Working at the golf course, me and the other pro shop guy would bet on which carts people would walk to and put their clubs on as they walked out the Pro Shop door. 2. I'm going to the local OTB in 10 minutes to bet on Presque Isle Downs and Mountaineer. 3. I've bet on whether there was going to be precipitation 90 days after the first heavy fog in the fall (the other guy claimed that it's a longstanding farmer's claim that happens...I won the bet and figured I was getting +EV for sure). 4. The golf course I used to work at holds a 27-hole two man tournament each year and I still know and play with a lot of the guys that participate. I make all sorts of prop bets for it. Full of hacks and sticks alike and I book the shit out of it. It's this Sunday. I've won 3 out of 4 years. 5. I martingaled the online roulette table one night and lost $300. Tried it again two days later and did the same. Tried it one more time and did the same. Then I tried it with Blackjack and did the same. Tried it one more time with Blackjack and did the same. Worst 3 weeks of my life. What made it worse is my friend was also martingaling and won like 2k. He basically won all the money I lost but didn't throw me even a couple hundred out of pity. 6. Get 10 guys together and everybody picks a number between 1 and 10. Throw in $20. Somebody puts their hat upside down on the floor and one guy goes up on a balcony above the hat and drops the 10 slips of paper with the numbers 1-10 written on them straight down toward the hat. The first number to land in the hat by itself wins the pot. I fucking LOVE to gamble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gmenknicks Posted August 19, 2014 Report Share Posted August 19, 2014 Bet the browns ML while my wife was in labor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gmenknicks Posted August 19, 2014 Report Share Posted August 19, 2014 James D story is fucking classic material Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gmenknicks Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 I ran up my daily ATM withdrawal limit at the casino in Florida so I called the bank and started screaming at them that I was hosting a bachelor party in Vegas and how dare they limit my account... The woman said Sir your withdrawals are from an ATM in pompano beach Florida... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 On my most recent trip to Vegas with a friend of mine (mainly to play poker)' date=' we brought a deck of cards on the plane and I managed to lose $900 during the 4 hour flight. Talk about being behind the 8 ball before you even arrive in Vegas. [/quote'] Good one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 Bet the browns ML while my wife was in labor Better one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gmenknicks Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 I texted James d story to all my degen friends and they all say that's the funniest thing they have ever heard about gambling Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeinkeToWarrick Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 I have a friend in LA who told me this one.......... He used to Ref children's basketball games' date=' he and the other ref would bet twenty bucks on the nights 2 out of 3 games. Last night of the regular season they decide to up the bet to dinner at Ruth Chris steakhouse with the girlfriends. How the bet worked was one guy each night made the spread and the other guy took the sides he wanted. So they were tied up 1-1 in games and my friend had the better team -5 points with under ten seconds left. Problem was they were up 3 and the other team had the ball. My friend then decided to fix a basketball game involving eight year olds.......The inbound was clean and my friend immediately called a moving pick that never happened. The coach of the losing team got upset, but not terribly, yet he still got a technical foul called against him for his efforts. Now he got even more upset and the second tech was called assuring four free throws for my friends team and the coaches ejection. The parents are very angry and going fuckin insane. The kid they choose to shoot steps up and hits 2of 3 to get the number to 5 and a push, the kid lines up for the meaningless to everyone else final FT and hits the rim........and my friend calls a lane violation against a kid that hasn't moved an inch. The fuckin team is down 5 with eight seconds left, they aren't fighting for the rebound. But the ref with a hankering for a free meal doesn't care. He calls the lane violation at this point the other ref is just shaking his head in half amusement and half disbelief that he is losing a fixed game that he is refereeing! The kid drains the next free throw to get the game to six but my friend is not out of the woods yet. The other team has eight seconds for the back door layup we all have seen 1000 times in our gambling lives.. However in all these instances we were not refereeing the game. Once the ball gets past half court my friend calls traveling, his fifth phantom call in the final ten seconds of play. At this point it's a fucking madhouse the parents are so irate but the winning team just inbounds the ball and the game ends. After changing clothes my friend actually left the school through the back door and snuck to his car to avoid enraged parents waiting for him. At Ruth Chris he even loaded up at dinner with lots of appetizers and booze just to stick his friend one last time, the girls had no idea what went down.[/quote'] I haven't literally LOL'd at a forum post in awhile, but this one did the trick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeybagadonuts Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 Some of the weakest degen stories I've ever heard. JamesD easily wins the thread Cyberbabble right up there. Gmen like myself a true degenerate. Not sure I even care to share my most degenerate stories, too embarrassing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeybagadonuts Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/54/poker-beats-brags-variance/degen-stories-447948/ (Real degen stories) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeybagadonuts Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 Originally Posted by King Niche http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/images/buttons/2p2/viewpost.gif one time i was sitting in my house on my own i had just split up with my gf who was a crack head but she was nice.. the room was dark i was surrounded by bottles of piss half eaten sandwiches i even had a crust behind my ear i was quite sad because i was busto and heartbroken i thought maybe we would make it work and she would be my main squeese anyway she left me for a crack dealer..so at this point im feelin like ten dewey heart aching empty busto feeling and linger tilt from stacking off with a flush draw because some crotch monkey over bets the pot and i run into the swinging blade and throw up 2 clanging bricks and I just punch my ****in monitor almost put my fist through it and then i kicked my coffee table but not like a regular person no no no..i have to hit it as hard as I can with my ****ing shin!!!! wtff was i thinking im not van damme or some **** that hurt so bad i collapsed in agony and started crying i just laid there whimpering in agony sobbing and eventually the pain eased off but i had blood running all the way down my leg..i just laid there on the carpet for 2 hours staring into space i even knocked one out while laying in the recovery position i felt so lazy like a lazy slob and i smelt so rank like chinese food in a dumpster for days..i eventually get up im wearing stripey boxers and half of them is up my ass ive got my ass cheek showing but i dont care i sit at my pc and watch some 200/400 on betfair wishing i was in the game..i kept sitting at a table hoping i would have cash in my account i actually prayed to mary magdagascar..i check my emails and boooom titan poker have put free money in my damn account!!!!!!!!!!!!!! woooooooooooooo..it felt like a blessing. Its like 5 dollars..so I go straight to max but in 5c/10c or some BS where u get nit on nits and I run that **** up to 20 in no time, then I but in at 25/50 and I hit a big overset and and I make some decent bluffs I get my stack to 145..at this point im thinking ok just play this mother****ing cool dont be a degen waste of lung capacity but i say *** it i will take a shot at 2/4... so I pick the easiest table luckily for me they are all easy and first hand I shove with the doyle brunson just for good luck everyone folds secnd hand i get AA..I shove I get 2 callers an Iwin and im oer 400 i say**** this and i goto 5/10 witha short stack what else am i suppose to do..i run this upto 3k pretty easily and step up to 10/20 and in 3 hours I have 13k..then it happened..I GET KING ****ING KING and some guy called han solo (TILTED) raises me to 30 dollars I re raise to 180 He raises to 550 I call planning to shove any flop flop comes AAA ..he says to me in chat I HAVE IT and bets the pot im like wtf ..thats areverse reversal bluff damn *** he must have it **** i cant fold i felt my heart speed up kind of like a panic attack how can i fold this my dad is in my ear saying DONT CALL he has the 4 of a kind im like no dad let me play my own damn hands why cant you go and play poker with otis redding always ****** interfering ..and i start arguing with him cant believe i have gone from 5 dollars to over a 20k pot in just hours..I call and he flips over QQ..I FIST PUMP LIKE IM OHN MACKENROE SHOUTING NOW WHAT NOW WHAT DAD HE DIDNT SAY **** TURN QUEEN RIVER QUEEENNNNNNNNNNN>>OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I MWAS SO ****IN MAD I STARTED SPITTINGup BLOOD FOAMING UP ...PUNCHED MY SELF in teh side of the head AND STARTED SHOUTING AT MY DAD INSIDE MY HEAD IM LIKE **** OFF LEAVE ME ALONE GET OUT OF My HEAD.. OMGG IM BUSTO AGAIN I FEEL LIKE A WORM WHO HAS HAS BIN SHOVELLED WHEN THE GROUND IS COLD OR MABE STUCK HIS HEAD IN A TURD..I FELT LIKE SUCH A ****INg DEGEN I COULD HAVE PLAYED 5/10 with 13k so easily and made decent rake and maybe found me some new pussy easily when i tell em im back to being a pro...first i burnt my hand on the stove on purpose omggg i was so wasted i went out in the backyard stark naked i started climbing the trees and just trying to get back to nature and forget the damn poker..loking back id lost my damn mind that pot had eloctrocuted my noodle..it started to rain and i looked so pathetic i couldnt even get a crack whore to stay with me and I had a big hemmaroid and my white pastey body stood out under the grey sky i must have looked like a sagging bag of milk... ..all i wanted to do was grind for 18 hours a day and fester in my own filth and live the life of a poker pro grind on the mind till i die make my tomb a house of cards.. i wanted to give up so bad.. now i was busto and i couldnt see a break in the clouds or any hope the next day when i woke up i had to masturbate just so i could get out of bed i browsed 2+2 and went back to bed for 3 days..I didnt even get up to go peepee i just pissed the bed because i was busto and nothing else mattered..i kept reminded myself that atleast i nwasnt the fat sloth puppet in that movie seven where he gets locked in a bat cave and is made to eat spaghetti till his guts spill open..but this didnt make me feel any better.. whats urine and the smell of a cheesy ritz cracker ass crack when you lost a 26k pot? i didnt give a **** about pissing on myself by that point..i could of had a milllion dingelberries attatched to my ass i wouldnt have cared...i was so upset the lowest point for so long even lower than when i talked myself out of a guy giving me a BJ for $100 I just couldnt do it..i felt lower than when my mom force fed me flowers..I almost killed myself on day 2 when metallica came on the radio..i dont know how I ever made it out alive..i always swear to this day it was just the hope of being back in action someday..it lifted me out of the bottomless pit and gave me reason to live and breathe..never quit guys..not even when they are dragging your face through the ****..there is always someone worse off than you..like a guy with a glass eye with a fish in it....keep grind on the mind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James D Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 I am so glad my buddy RCs story was so well received!!! I kid you not guys when he tells the story and expands on how the coach he tossed was really a good guy and the other ref is fuckin staring at him whistle after whistle in disbelief it's hysterical . The kids losing are just so distraught, 8 year old for Chris sake, you can literally piss your pants. I haven't heard the story in like 4 years , I do make him tell it whenever a new guy in our group is around . But it's been like four years and I can still see him telling it. Again real glad you fellas liked it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gmenknicks Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 Ok that story by King Niche just had me crying hysterically in bed at 630 am... I didn't think James D could be beat but that did it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingRevolver Posted August 21, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 21, 2014 I have a friend in LA who told me this one.......... He used to Ref children's basketball games' date=' he and the other ref would bet twenty bucks on the nights 2 out of 3 games. Last night of the regular season they decide to up the bet to dinner at Ruth Chris steakhouse with the girlfriends. How the bet worked was one guy each night made the spread and the other guy took the sides he wanted. So they were tied up 1-1 in games and my friend had the better team -5 points with under ten seconds left. Problem was they were up 3 and the other team had the ball. My friend then decided to fix a basketball game involving eight year olds.......The inbound was clean and my friend immediately called a moving pick that never happened. The coach of the losing team got upset, but not terribly, yet he still got a technical foul called against him for his efforts. Now he got even more upset and the second tech was called assuring four free throws for my friends team and the coaches ejection. The parents are very angry and going fuckin insane. The kid they choose to shoot steps up and hits 2of 3 to get the number to 5 and a push, the kid lines up for the meaningless to everyone else final FT and hits the rim........and my friend calls a lane violation against a kid that hasn't moved an inch. The fuckin team is down 5 with eight seconds left, they aren't fighting for the rebound. But the ref with a hankering for a free meal doesn't care. He calls the lane violation at this point the other ref is just shaking his head in half amusement and half disbelief that he is losing a fixed game that he is refereeing! The kid drains the next free throw to get the game to six but my friend is not out of the woods yet. The other team has eight seconds for the back door layup we all have seen 1000 times in our gambling lives.. However in all these instances we were not refereeing the game. Once the ball gets past half court my friend calls traveling, his fifth phantom call in the final ten seconds of play. At this point it's a fucking madhouse the parents are so irate but the winning team just inbounds the ball and the game ends. After changing clothes my friend actually left the school through the back door and snuck to his car to avoid enraged parents waiting for him. At Ruth Chris he even loaded up at dinner with lots of appetizers and booze just to stick his friend one last time, the girls had no idea what went down.[/quote'] Fuckin' hysterical. Are you sure these weren't NBA refs? :clap2: I remember Winky (who coincidentally is a kids basketball ref from LA) said that at one game, there was this hot MILF with big tits. Every time her kid scored, she'd jump up and down, and he couldn't help but have a look. So, he made a few phantom calls to put her kid on the freethrow line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeybagadonuts Posted August 21, 2014 Report Share Posted August 21, 2014 I have a friend in LA who told me this one.......... He used to Ref children's basketball games' date=' he and the other ref would bet twenty bucks on the nights 2 out of 3 games. Last night of the regular season they decide to up the bet to dinner at Ruth Chris steakhouse with the girlfriends. How the bet worked was one guy each night made the spread and the other guy took the sides he wanted. So they were tied up 1-1 in games and my friend had the better team -5 points with under ten seconds left. Problem was they were up 3 and the other team had the ball. My friend then decided to fix a basketball game involving eight year olds.......The inbound was clean and my friend immediately called a moving pick that never happened. The coach of the losing team got upset, but not terribly, yet he still got a technical foul called against him for his efforts. Now he got even more upset and the second tech was called assuring four free throws for my friends team and the coaches ejection. The parents are very angry and going fuckin insane. The kid they choose to shoot steps up and hits 2of 3 to get the number to 5 and a push, the kid lines up for the meaningless to everyone else final FT and hits the rim........and my friend calls a lane violation against a kid that hasn't moved an inch. The fuckin team is down 5 with eight seconds left, they aren't fighting for the rebound. But the ref with a hankering for a free meal doesn't care. He calls the lane violation at this point the other ref is just shaking his head in half amusement and half disbelief that he is losing a fixed game that he is refereeing! The kid drains the next free throw to get the game to six but my friend is not out of the woods yet. The other team has eight seconds for the back door layup we all have seen 1000 times in our gambling lives.. However in all these instances we were not refereeing the game. Once the ball gets past half court my friend calls traveling, his fifth phantom call in the final ten seconds of play. At this point it's a fucking madhouse the parents are so irate but the winning team just inbounds the ball and the game ends. After changing clothes my friend actually left the school through the back door and snuck to his car to avoid enraged parents waiting for him. At Ruth Chris he even loaded up at dinner with lots of appetizers and booze just to stick his friend one last time, the girls had no idea what went down.[/quote'] Fuckin' hysterical. Are you sure these weren't NBA refs? :clap2: I remember Winky (who coincidentally is a kids basketball ref from LA) said that at one game, there was this hot MILF with big tits. Every time her kid scored, she'd jump up and down, and he couldn't help but have a look. So, he made a few phantom calls to put her kid on the freethrow line.Winky is one sick fuck. I remember when he posted that and I felt like I needed a shower. You should make that pic of him in the "free candy" van a smiley here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeybagadonuts Posted August 21, 2014 Report Share Posted August 21, 2014 Ok that story by King Niche just had me crying hysterically in bed at 630 am... I didn't think James D could be beat but that did itThere are some classics in that thread. The KingNiche one might be the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joeybagadonuts Posted August 21, 2014 Report Share Posted August 21, 2014 Gmen, read some of this guy's stories, you'll love them. http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/54/poker-beats-brags-variance/disclaimer-i-do-not-approve-any-my-actions-am-aware-they-reflect-negatively-1447213/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeinkeToWarrick Posted August 21, 2014 Report Share Posted August 21, 2014 That dude's story isn't true though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inkwell77 Posted September 11, 2014 Report Share Posted September 11, 2014 lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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