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i quit my job to be a street performer


GreenDoberman
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i wasn't getting along with my boss. said bye.

now i do standup comedy on fremont street.

i am in one of those circles where the guys and girls make up roses from palm fronds.

my only real competition is the guys from america can dance and the guy who just sits there frozen.

come out and see my while i hone my craft.

no charge on the voluntary tip if you tell them tgf sent you.

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king revolver went to the bar and ordered three shots of tequila.

the bartender poured them out and watched kinger down them one after the other.

whoa whoa slow down said the barkeep what are you celebrating or upset.

celebrating revolverdildo said im celebrating my first blow job.

hey partner congratulations said the drink slinger can i get you another one, on me, top shelf?

nah said kinggloryhole, if three dont get the taste out nothing will.

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38 minutes ago, Hoops said:

If you want some comedy tips, PM

me pal, I love giving back to the less fortunate :cheers

 

Here is a comedy tip

Put all you expensive shit in a rental car along with cash and park it on the Streets of SF

Oh and for the punchline, make sure you dont cover it up so thieves can easily see inside:clap

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So here is the update/summary:

My first day was Monday.  I went down to the city office to get a business license (35 bucks) in the morning.  I had reserved a circle for 3pm.  Nervously I put on my outfit had my signs and props along with my notebook and headed down there.  Things were a bit hectic at first but I hit my stride when a group of bachelorettes challenged me to roast the bride-to-be.  Also I talked with a few of the street performers letting them know I was new and asking for advice.  Naked guy was very happy to have some diversity and he had the same frustrated thoughts on the homeless and the "fucking palm tree people" as he put it.  The guys from the dance crew were very helpful as far as telling me how and how loud the microphones and speakers could be used and they also let me know that this was their "turf" so to speak and to not mess up anything with their show.  I told them I wasn't directly competing with them and would be happy to give a shout out to them when they were getting ready to perform.  They were appreciative of that and they let me know that gathering a crowd and timing your performance was very important.  After two and a half hours I was wiped out and sweating forgetting how hot it was.  I went through like 80% of my material the first day and realized I needed to develop a lot more as well as craft a few stories to weave throughout.  I made $186 dollars for the day and headed home wiped out.

 

Day 2, I decided to refine my performance from the day before.  New eye-catching outfit and many more signs.  I am planning to upgrade the performance venue stuff like speakers and microphone and am going to speak t someone about the feasibility of a guitar or keyboard to incorporate into my act.  I have a terrible singing voice and it was suggested to me by the country music singer a sound board with some effects  might be the way to go.  He was extremely helpful and I made sure to send some business his way.  I selected a later slot and had to kick a homeless guy out of my circle, he didn't want to leave but I told him I had it reserved and the fortuitous arrival of the mall cops made him depart hastily.  The later time slot was preferable in its coolness as well as the traffic.  I made less than the first day, $77.50, albeit tax free.  The big news of the day was when a guy came by and listened to my spiel and invited me to a place called Wiseguys on Main Street for open mic night.  He said I should hit up as many as I can  to help hone my craft.  He also gave me a card that I was supposed to call to get an audition for a slot with somebody but he said don't do it until you have a couple months under your belt.  I looked up the club and it is legit, cross your covid fingers, it is supposed to start up in September.  If you are in the area I will probably be there most Tuesday and Wednesday nights all month.  As I was packing up a guy came up to me said he appreciated my humor as he had lost quite a bit of money gambling and even though he was broke he said I provided him with sunshine on a cloudy day.  That felt good as I walked home.

 

The last two days I have been workshopping.  Writing jokes, reading, and met up with two prominent people at a coffeehouse to bounce ideas and mainly absorb their advice.  I am planning on going out Friday and Saturday this week.   I reserved 6p this evening and have tentative plans for 3 ro 4 on Saturday.  If you are in the area feel free to stop by, I think I'm just West of the Four Queens tonight, and remember that tips are always appreciated (as are tits).

 

The Masked Comedian

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