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2015 Douchebag of the Year- BigDaddy


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Who is the Douchebag of the Year?  

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  1. 1. Who is the Douchebag of the Year?



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**Winner of Poll will have all their Pizza Points deducted**

**We will also be doing a Poster of the Year Award-- Winner will win the deducted Pizza Points from this contest**


BigDaddy, AKA PigDaddy, AKA ScamDaddy, AKA CaptainStinky

It’s been a BIG year, literally and figuratively, for our Rascal Rough Rider. This year, he worked extra hard at being a douchebag. He put his tools down (knife and fork) and came up with a genius plan to extort $700 from Johnny Unitas incarnate, boatboatboat. PigDaddy took the cash, and made it rain down at his local KrispyKreme.

Do we dare mention the time he dusted off his cheeto-flaked fingers and chip dumped his poker chips (in a freeroll) to fellow douchebag nominee, PO69, so that PO could win a side bet with another poster? Or how about the time he decided to start a contest but stiffed the prize? We’d ask him to leave, but the only way to get him out is to grease the sides of the door and have a brave soul hold a dollar on the other side. Our paunchy friend has bitten more than enough hands, so we’ll let sleeping dogs lie.

We do kindly ask that he stop sweating profusely, and that he’d stop cramming food down his gullet. If he continues down this path, they’ll have to tear down the side of his wall, and have eight of Kinger’s Day Laborer family members haul him out of there.

KFC


Deemer, AKA ClevelandSteamer, AKA ChopstickWarrior

It’s also been a big year for Deema, but he can’t really see that because his eyes don't open all the way. For those that don’t know Deemer... he’s a Community College paralegal in real life, but a Syracuse Top 10 Lawyer online. He loves to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong, just ask his boyfriend’s asscrack.

But we love Deema @ TGF, and the way he takes time off to post, from making Happy Meal toys for our children while only making 10 cents an hour. Between that, school, and suckin’ LeBron off after the game… it’s surprising he has any time to go online and tell us how wrong we are about everything.

His past claims of hitting 70% have fallen short the last two years. Every contest he’s been in, he’s hit well under 50% of his plays. Another swing and a miss for our Kung Pao hero.

Maybe if he became more productive by helping his father in his dry cleaning business, it would clear his mind enough to become a better ‘capper, and a better human being. Until then, we’ll just continue to skip over his posts. 該死的基督耶穌


PO69, AKA POS69, AKA Dr. Death

PO is a legend when it comes to douchebag lists. He’s made every single one, every single year… and for a damn good reason! You must, and we mean must, keep both of your eyes on PO. First off, you have to use both eyes because he doesn’t fit in one eye. Secondly, if you don’t keep your eyes on him, you’ll end up with an empty wallet.

PO, famously, ran away from Hurricane Katrina, leaving behind his animals… to make room in his Astro Van for his TVs, Computers and DVD players.

He also claims to be a doctor who used to practice down in Mexico. Yes, used to practice, that is, until he operated on a couple of patients and ended up leaving sponges inside of them. Next thing you know, they end up dead and PO is home playing in a Poker Freeroll. Mexico gave him the boot, and he’s now touring the U.S. playing poker for a living. It’s pretty bad when Mexico deports you. If the U.S. wants to stop the immigration problem, they should stick PO down at the border and have him chase Mexicans with sponges in his hand.

Speaking of the Poker Freeroll, this year, he received help from his Buffet Brother, BigDaddy. PO made a last-longer side bet with another poster. In order to increase his chances of winning, he asked poster BigDaddy to help him out by dumping chips to him. BigDaddy refused to at first, but then PO explained to him that he was talking about poker chips and not a bag of chips. BigDaddy agreed, and the rest is history.

Sol Diablo, AKA Uncle Dildo, AKA Dobbler

One of the more, um, interesting characters around. Uncle Braggadocio loves to tell us how great his life is… and he also likes to… well, actually, that’s it. He has the greatest job in the world, and he went to the greatest school in the world- ASU. He’s also married to a model with 36DD’s. Both of his kids are straight A students, and go to a $20,000 a year school.

Uncle Dildo also likes to tell us about his love for Jesus while drinking a 40 oz Olde English. After taking a couple of sips of his favorite drink, he’ll go on the forum wanting to bet everyone in the world, as long as they meet his stipulations.

Example conversation:

Sol Diablo: I’ll bet anyone here that Carson Palmer wins MVP.
Bricker: I’ll take that bet.
Sol Diablo: OK! You have to post-up within 4 minutes with KR, who won’t be around for 2 hours. And you have to do it while standing on your right leg, and holding a black man’s dick with your left hand.
Bricker: WTF?
KingKolzig: I'll take that bet.
Sol Diablo: MOVE THEM CHAINS!!! Pussies don’t want to bet!

Yeah, we know. He’s must’ve been hit one too many times over the head by his wife’s 36DD’s.

Brock Landers, AKA Broke Lenders, AKA Oyster Bar Midget

The Huffy-riding-midget-douchebag-turned-Uber-driver has been riding high this year, and even decided to join up with other douchebags and give touting a chance. That is, until he got the boot, the way he gets the boot from every forum he frequents. It’s rather sad when even scumbag touts don’t want you around.

He loves to post pictures of meals that even the homeless would turn their noses up at. Starving African children with pot bellies send Brock ten cents a day. Brock will brag about absolutely anything, from eating at White Castle, to going on a cheap Disney Cruise.

And he does all of it on the government’s dime, and his wife’s dead husband’s life insurance. They should’ve saved that money and spent it on a toupée for DEBit.

On top of everything, he has a very limited vocabulary. Everything is either “TOP DRAWER” or “TREMENDOUS.”

It wasn’t so tremendous for him when he was sued earlier this year for debts owed. His public bankruptcy records were also exposed, and he threatened to sue everyone for posting public documents. Everyone tried explaining to him what public meant, but he refused to listen, telling everyone he has a TREMENDOUS lawyer. He then claimed he was going to leave EOG for good, but returned the next day. Par for the course.


Sam Odom, AKA Fat Frank, AKA Spam Odom

Forget Listerine. Sammy loves to gargle Brock’s balls in his mouth every morning, and he does it before he pops his teeth in. If Brock is at home on the shitter trying to crap out one of his disgusting deep-fried turds… Sammy will be on the forums updating everyone about it.

If nothing is happening, Sammy will make sure to spam all forums with TOP DRAWER threads, e.g., My shoes are untied- is that normal? ... I want to feel Brock inside of me. ... My dentures popped out and touched Brock’s penis- am I gay?

How about we just leave it at that? Because, Sammy, sometimes less is more.

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Not sure who wrote this, but it is extremely well-written and creative. Only one grammatical error, I saw. Possibly the fella identified by book guy wrote it. If so, that was fucking awesome!

 

I seldom give complaments, but felt the need to, in this case.

 

agreed. I only saw the "received helped" one. And "complaments" in your post. :lol

 

 

KingKolzig: I'll take that bet.
 
:laugh
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Sol Diablo, AKA Uncle Dildo, AKA Dobbler
 
One of the more, um, interesting characters around.  Uncle Braggadocio loves to tell us how great his life is… and he also likes to… well, actually, that’s it.  He has the greatest job in the world, and he went to the greatest school in the world- ASU.  He’s also married to a model with 36DD’s.  Both of his kids are straight A students, and go to a $20,000 a year school.  
 
Uncle Dildo also likes to tell us about his love for Jesus while drinking a 40 oz Olde English.   After taking a couple of sips of his favorite drink, he’ll go on the forum wanting to bet everyone in the world, as long as they meet his stipulations.  
 
Example conversation:
 
Sol Diablo: I’ll bet anyone here that Carson Palmer wins MVP.  
Bricker: I’ll take that bet.
Sol Diablo: OK!  You have to post-up within 4 minutes with KR, who won’t be around for 2 hours.  And you have to do it while standing on your right leg, and holding a black man’s dick with your left hand.
Bricker: WTF?
KingKolzig: I'll take that bet.
Sol Diablo: MOVE THEM CHAINS!!!  Pussies don’t want to bet!
 
Yeah, we know.  He’s must’ve been hit one too many times over the head by his wife’s 36DD’s.  
 

 

:laugh  :laugh  :laugh  :laugh

 

To be fair, let me correct a couple of things here.

 

** First of all, my wife does have natural 36DD boobs.  But she is not a model.  She's more "cute" than smoking hot.  Think Amy Adams with big boobs and blonde hair.  We both need to get back into shape though.  Weve been slacking.  

 

** Yes.  Its true.  Both of my kids are straight A students.  So I can't correct that.  But I think the tuition at the school is more like 16k per year.  Not 20k.  

 

** ASU is the greatest school in the world.  Can't correct that either. 

 

** I have never drank Old English in my life.

 

I guess that's it.  Everything else looks pretty good.   :laugh

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